It is not unusual to experience a loss of libido after having a baby, in fact it is almost to be expected as most women understandably focus their energies on their newborn and are too tired to think of anything else. A recent survey by parenting website Netmums revealed that three-quarters of couples make love less than they did before they had children. And almost half the mothers questioned said they felt the man in their life no longer found them attractive.
It is not always just women who don’t want to have sex after having a baby, men suffering trauma through childbirth is much more commonplace than you’d think and the effect on intimacy can be huge. Witnessing the trauma of childbirth, coupled with the toll it takes on their partner’s body, can have a devastating impact on a man and his approach to sex.
Even a relatively normal birth can be extremely traumatic for men. They can experience strong feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness and guilt for inflicting this on their wives. They feel they should have done more to help, but couldn’t. This can have a direct and profound consequence on their libidos afterwards.
A lack of intimacy in a relationship can be a major cause of marital breakdowns, but there is specific therapy that can address these problems. Psychosexual counselling looks specifically at sexual dysfunction and emotional blocks within a relationship and can be extremely beneficial to new parents feeling a strain on their marriage or relationship due to loss of libido. The Simply Better Birth Psychosexual Psychotherapist Dr Gillian Vanhegan specialises in helping couples who have either gone off sex entirely, experience pain with sex, are not enjoying it anymore, or are failing to climax. By tackling these issues new parents can overcome problems they have developed with sex and strengthen their relationship again.